Doormat no longer

When you're like me and tend to roll out into a doormat when dealing with people, it's very strange to be in a situation where I, for once did not act the way I usually do. It's such a bizarre feeling. Kind of disorienting, sort of like a "new you". I'm thinking I might just have grown up a little bit...

The sun is out today and Leftfield is playing in the studio. After having stayed at the office till 8pm last night followed by a trip to the gym... I stumbled into the flat at 10pm... I am exhausted. Back at the office this morning at 9am... feels like I never left. "No rest for the wicked" my mother would say.

Pay day, as I've discovered is not until next Wednesday... my worst fear. I'm feeling like it's been an eternity since I've been sorted financially and it's starting to take a toll on my mental well being. Without a joke, looks like I'll not be able to go out and play tomorrow night.... :( poo. There are far worse things in this world so there is not use me whining.

will someone show me how to disappear completely?

sj_chick@yahoo.com